Holiday Health Etiquette

Hello and welcome. Um, and this is a show where you can be informed and empowered about healthcare issues that are important to you. I'm your host, Dr. Valda Crowder, also known as Dr. V, and I thought today, you know, we should talk about some holiday health etiquette and ways to keep gatherings joyful and safe. Uh, Thanksgiving was sort of a trial run for Christmas and New Year's, and um many of us expected um uh to have things go a certain way, and and maybe they didn't go that way. What made me actually uh come up with this show today was that I got a phone call a couple of days before my family gathered for Thanksgiving asking me a lot of questions about tuberculosis, which I was really shocked about why they were asking about tuberculosis. And I later found out that one of my other family members has been volunteering uh with a nonprofit that provides resources to uh people uh in the immigrant community, and she had been helping someone who had a positive TB skin test. So then the question was uh whether or not um it was okay for her to come to Thanksgiving dinner or not. And she felt it was uh without that much information. And as we dug into the information a little bit more, I sort of found out that um the person had had a positive skin test, a negative chest x-ray, um, but still had not been completely cleared. And so we did actually have our family member take an extra step to make sure that she was completely cleared and safe to come to uh Thanksgiving dinner. Um but you know, between that, I actually wasn't there. I was actually working in the emergency department, and I saw a lot of families as I was working in the emergency department come in with their own issues uh Thanksgiving Day, so and the day after Thanksgiving. So, you know, I I think the holiday season brings together family and friends and food and festive traditions, but it also brings together concerns. Um, and it brings together um concerns uh about a lot of different things. So I wanted to kind of discuss some of these today. Um if you wanted to join the conversation, we are live today for the next 30 minutes. Um, so you can call in at 1-800-450-7876, 1-800-450-7876. You can also email me at info at askdrv.us. That's info at ask drv.us. And remember, I'm here for you. And if there's a time that you need to take advantage of accurate uh information and really get alternatives uh to what to what to do in this season, the time is now. All right, what the health is happening, that is a real question, and it's also the name of my new podcast where you can literally get life-changing advice. What the health is happening is where we give you the inside scoop on all health matters. Um, I also sometimes interview uh some uh health specialists uh from uh from the medical field. Um it is your dose of medical reality with me and my guest and my friends from the front line of health care. Um we have have talked about all sorts of topics. Um it is on all streaming platforms, so you can find us everywhere. Um and you can download, uh, subscribe or comment to what the health is happening. Uh the other thing is um this uh as we end this year, um I am uh if you have been struggling with a health issue and you want to actually turn over a new leaf starting January, and there's a health issue that you've been struggling with, we're gonna start a little health club for the Ask Dr. V show. And you can email me at info atask drv.us. Um and we're gonna actually uh put a group of folks together and and really have people experience in 2026 um a refreshed and renewed uh health. Uh so uh email me or download what the health is happening. All right, I'm gonna take a couple of questions that I got uh from email. And you know, I actually am gonna kind of group them because I got a lot of questions about dealing with potentially sick family members or what to say to uh potentially ill family members, which is actually the same scenario that uh my family was actually dealing with, which led to uh this topic today. So here are a couple of the questions. Aisha says, if I if you wake up with cold symptoms on the day of the gathering, what is the threshold for staying home versus attending? So this is really this is really important. So one, if you actually have a fever, you should absolutely stay at home. Now, some people don't have a um thermometer to check their temperature at home, but if you feel feverish or you've had fever or chills, you should absolutely stay at home. The other thing that you should absolutely stay at home for is if you have any sort of coughing or sneezing, because this is how particles are actually transmitted from one person to another. I also tell people, you know, if you're just not feeling if you're feeling really, really tired, um, you know, sometimes you can just, especially if it's a close family member, you can say, listen, I'm feeling really tired. Um, could somebody bring me a plate or could you leave a plate out on the steps like we did during COVID and pick up a plate? Um and you know, you really want to err on the side of caution. Um, because I tell people a lot of times you don't know what the medical history is of all the people that will be at this gathering. And some people may have medical issues going on that are more serious than you know. Um, and this is also um particularly true when you have kids that have, because oftentimes kids will catch things at school, they'll have uh coughing, you know, snotty nose, runny mouth. Um it's best for them to stay home as well. Then then on the flip side, uh Glo asked the question what is the best way to politely tell a family member that they're too sick to come to holiday dinner, right? And you know, again, I think that um some of these conversations can be very delicate, you know, and this was actually the conversation that I was having with my family member. And it wasn't necessarily that she was sick, it was that she had been exposed, right? And so um she, you know, I think that a lot of times people think, well, I don't I don't think this would be a problem, but you actually don't know. So the best thing to say to people is I understand that you're actually not feeling well, I would rather be on the safe side, I would prefer to be on the safe side, offer to save them a plate, offer to bring them a plate later on, and I think usually that will actually um that will usually be enough. Um, the other thing that you can actually do as well, because sometimes you're dealing with this when the person is actually in your home. So if the person actually is in your home, whip out one of those masks and you put on your mask and give them a mask and then politely tell them, I think that you're too sick to be here. So I think it's really, really important that you sort of advocate for what you want in your space. Um it's really, really in important, and you can again offer to give them a plate, offer to send them a plate. Um that will often really make a difference. I know in one scenario with my own family, and this happened a couple of years ago, um, we had a holiday that was approaching, and um several of us had COVID during the holiday. Um and what we did in that scenario was we said, okay, uh I don't remember which holiday it was. I'm not I don't remember if it was Thanksgiving or Christmas, but we agreed to postpone it um for a week or two until everybody was better. And we literally set another date and then we all got together on that date when everybody was um uh healthy and and doing uh and doing well. All righty. Uh another question here about uh sickness is uh my son caught the flu, and this is from Shay in uh Shay in Baltimore. My son caught the flu and I made him wear a mask to not get anyone sick, especially my grandmother. On Christmas, everyone is coming to my house. What is the best way to ask others about their health politely? So this this is really so people really do have a right to health privacy. So um one way to do this is to actually uh not ask specifically about people's health, but just ahead of the event to say um we have some folks in our family uh that are elderly or more at risk. Uh we ask that you not come over to the house for Christmas if you are not feeling well, um, or if you are coughing, sneezing, etc. And so one way to do it is to just kind of put it out there that this is actually what we're requesting. Now, I've also seen the other scenario where the family member who is um is sick or immunocompromised wants to see everybody anyhow because they're concerned that maybe this may be um their last holiday. They may they may know that they have uh a very serious illness or a very terminal illness, and they want to see um all the family members no matter what. So the other thing to look at is how do you make your home uh as safe as possible. So one thing to do is to actually open up a window. Um ventilation makes a really, really big difference. You don't have to open it wide open, but you do probably need to open it up like a quarter or a third. Um if you got a little ceiling fan or something that can move the air around. Um, it really makes a difference to have some outdoor air come in. That actually, if you do have someone that is ill or um or sick, that actually um decreases the concentration of the particles and actually makes things less contagious. So just open up a window, um, open up a couple of windows. If you have a ceiling fan, open up a ceiling fan. If you have someone who's sick in your home and let's say they're up in their bedroom, um, then you want to make sure to open up the window of their bedroom because even though they're staying in their bedroom, the ventilation of their room connects to the ventilation of the whole house, right? So um opening up a window can make a very, very big difference. And during COVID, um, my family, we did this um all the time. You know, if we all got together, we opened up a window, turned on ceiling fans, and kind of made it uh a safer space. It can really, really, really uh make a big difference. Um so we do also sometimes see the other where the family member, even though they're sick or immunocompromised, they want to see everybody, whether or not they have a fever or snotty nose or not. All righty. Uh Al, Al from uh Al is from Bowie and he asks, should people get their flu shot or COVID booster before traveling for the holidays? What is the ideal timing, especially if there are uh side effects? Alrighty, so usually the side effects of getting uh the flu shot and the COVID booster, the most common side effect is that your arm is sore. So that's the most common side effect. Some people do get a little fever or get a little tired uh after maybe a day or two afterwards. Um it's really, really important, really, really to get the COVID. If you haven't gotten your COVID and and flu shot, the time really to get it was in October, like the end of September, October, because these shots actually take takes about 30 days for your um for your um immune system to react to these particular immunizations. Really we recommend that you get them uh in September or October. It's December one today. So if you haven't gotten them, I would suggest to get them. And the main thing that you need for traveling really is bring out your uh N95 mask. I think it's really important while you're on the plane and you're in spaces where there's a lot of people uh in the wintertime to make sure that you mask up like we used to do during COVID. I still do that when I'm actually dealing with um when I'm in spaces with a lot of people. Alrighty, uh let's see here. A couple of other questions uh that I've gotten. Let's see here. We have a family member that always gets drunk and rowdy. What should we do? All right, so so you know, there's been a lot of Facebook uh uh videos, etc., of people drunk and rowdy over Thanksgiving. All right, and so this is actually happening a lot. So, you know, a couple of things is that one is that if you're hosting and that this is your house, um, you kind of get to set the limits, right? So, you know, if there is a little bit too much partying going on, um you need to feel free to sort of shut it down. I there are there are times that I have seen people actually literally uh take the alcohol out of the house or the weed out of the house or whatever it may happen to be that think that's really important because things can really get out of hand. Um I can tell you from in the emergency department, I have actually seen uh families that have actually had, you know, fights, brawls, and we had one family, and I will never forget this, that literally whipped out guns and was shooting at each other. So you just really want to you want to make sure that you de-escalate before it things get out of hand. Because when things get out of hand, they start moving very, very fast, and it's very hard to put the genie back in the box at that point in time. So if there's someone that you know that you know that they actually get out of hand, you can actually let them know ahead of time. Um, or you can say, There will be no alcohol, there will be no weed. If you want to do that, you can leave my house and go do it someplace else. So sometimes you really, really do have to uh put your foot down uh on that. Felicia is uh Felicia asked a question, she says, Dr. V, what are the main issues people come into the emergency department with on Thanksgiving or during the holiday season? Oh wow, this is so so this is a really good question. So, you know, Thanksgiving Day, we see so first of all, usually, usually when Thanksgiving Day uh when I work, it is um let we see less people than what we normally see, obviously, since people are either traveling or they're out with their family. Um, one thing that is important, I don't always work Thanksgiving. Um the way it works at most hospitals is you usually have to work one of the big three holidays. So we call the big three Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve. So if you work Thanksgiving, you gotta work the day after Thanksgiving. If you work Christmas, you gotta work Christmas Eve. If you work New Year's Eve, you gotta work New Year's Day. So you gotta work two days. Um and so you actually it rotates. So this was my year to work Thanksgiving. Next year I might work Christmas, next year I might work New Year's, but that way you have at least two of the three holidays with your family, and then you have one holiday where you actually work. So it really doesn't matter what holiday it is, whether or not it's Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Year's or New Year's Eve, New Year's Day. Um, we kind of see almost the same thing. So particularly Thanksgiving and Christmas, we see a lot of people who have actually cut their hand or cut their finger like the day before uh the day of preparing uh meals. It's really important to make sure that the drunk relative is not cutting fruits and vegetables because we see a lot of drunk people who actually have cut their finger and cut their hand. And so, you know, I'm always kind of amazed by like, how are you the one that's you know, out of all the family members that are together, you're the one that's drinking and cutting. So the usually we see that. Um we will also see a lot of psych. Um so people get um very depressed over the holidays. Um some folks are maybe not with their family, uh, some people may be far from their family. For some people, it may remind them of family members that pass during this time period. Um, so we see usually a lot of psych issues. Um I also see, you know, the the men with the prostate issues that can't urinate, that need a foley, they always come in on Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'm not exactly sure why, why, but I I almost invariably, it's not a holiday unless unless one of them have come in. Uh and um then the other thing that we see is um I also see people who don't normally drink, who then decided to drink, or don't normally do, or don't normally smoke marijuana and decided to smoke marijuana. They don't normally uh engage in this sort of behavior. So they might have like three or four beers and be completely out of it, right? Um so uh we see that. And then the other thing that I see a lot of, I see people who have been uh doing uh drinking and drugging for a very long time who have made a commitment to quit. Um so you'll also see on Thanksgiving, uh Christmas folks who actually come in and want to get drug and alcohol treatment. Um in the hospital where I work at, the state has a very good uh drug and alcohol treatment program. Um we can call a representative to the emergency department and they will, assuming that they at least have halfway decent insurance, um, they will take them um directly to rehab. Um so um usually in that it doesn't really matter if it's alcohol, marijuana, um uh cocaine, uh methamphetamines, uh whatever it may happen to be. So that kind of gives you the flavor of sort of uh what what we see during so it's kind of a day where you know we kind of see, you know, a lot of psych, a lot of drug and alcohol, and then a lot of people who have kind of um cut their hand or fell uh or something along that, oh something along that line. So um usually the busiest time actually is today, actually, the Monday after Thanksgiving, or the Monday after Christmas, or the Monday after New Year's Eve, uh, because everybody's been away, they've been um doing whatever they've been doing for the whole week, and it's been a bit much. Um, and uh they're you know either tired or fatigued or um can't get themselves into work. That's another one, um need a work note, you know, those sorts of things. So that kind of gives you the the the flavor of uh of what we of what we see uh during during the holidays. I think one of the main things about patients that we see during the holidays is because we see a lot of folks that are um uh either uh psychiatric issues or drunk d drug and alcohol. Um the other the other issue that we sometimes are dealing with are sometimes we're dealing with combative patients. Um and I think that people don't really think about that a lot when they think about the healthcare workers. But we do have a real issue in our profession with nurses and physicians uh being assaulted uh by combative patients. So, you know, that is something that we're always sort of on on the lookout for because, you know, I try to quickly medicate patients so that they don't hurt others. Um sometimes their their their aggressiveness is related to um the drugs and the alcohol that they have on board or their medical condition, and sometimes it's just related to their bad personality, right? So, but either way, we try to sort of medicate them so that we can all work in a safe, uh, a safe environment. But that is a real issue in our field, is um physicians and nurses being assaulted uh by patients. All right, what the health happen is what the health is happening, that is a real question, and it is the name of my new podcast where you can literally get life-changing advice. What the health is happening is where you get the inside scoop on health matters that can empower you and give you information on everything you need from breaking medical news to important medical updates. What the health is happening is your dose of medical reality. Um, it's myself and my friends from the front lines of healthcare. It is on all streaming platforms. All you have to do is type in what the health is happening. You can download, subscribe, and comment. Got a couple more questions that actually came in. Um, and here's a question from Julia. She says, How do I set healthy boundaries around holiday stress without seeming like a Grinch? So This is really, really important. I'm not sure what sort of boundaries you want to actually uh implement, but I can tell you um what a lot of people complain about as far as stress during the holidays. One is they complain about the only person who's actually, they're the only person that's cooking and cleaning. That's a major, major stressor, right? Or they're the only person that's going out and getting all of the Christmas gifts. Or they're the only ones putting up the Christmas tree and doing all the decorations and doing everything. So I think a couple of things is really you want to make sure to um assign tasks, right? If putting up the Christmas tree is important to you, then you say, hey, I'm gonna do this on this day ahead of time, and I need two people to help me with it. Um and really engage other people and kind of create it as a team, something that you want to do together as a family or as a team. Um, the same thing for cooking. I think it's really important, you know. Um I know for myself, for Thanksgiving, since I was working, I brought the turkey and I had everybody else bring in all the sides, right? Because I didn't want to be responsible for absolutely everything. So it's really important to engage people and ask people to actually give uh to contribute. Sometimes what happens is you expect people to notice that you're tired or that you're overworking, and people are not gonna necessarily notice that. So you want to make sure to ask for the things that you actually need so that you're not stressed. The other thing that's really important is you can always decide not to engage. I had a uh a uh friend of mine who actually decided she always had Christmas or Thanksgiving at her house and she decided not to do it one year. And she c she felt like she needed a break. And she actually went on a cruise and she had a fabulous time. And so um make sure that if you need a break, you actually take a break because it is really, it is really, really important. Um, you don't want to get yourself completely stressed out over the holidays. What sort of precautions make sense for air travel, especially for vulnerable family members? So, really, really important. I don't want to answer this question quickly because this is kind of the end of the show. Main thing for vulnerable family members, and I see this a lot, if your family member is on oxygen, you must tell the you must tell the airlines and make arrangements. Don't assume that a vulnerable family member can travel the time of an air travel without oxygen. So make sure first that the airline knows what sort of things are needed, and then you always want to make sure that they actually have a mask and you want to make sure that they get there early. All right, the mission of Channel Health is to inform and educate communities. I want to thank you for joining. Make sure to email me at info at askdrv. I will be back next week with a show that will keep you informed and empowered. Thank you.